we are so ashamed. we disappear for months and awake to hot moms telling us that lets yo is for sale. 

where did team frobros go wrong?

can’t help but think that let’s yo being for sale is all because of our sudden absence. if we had $1.1 million cash money dollar bills, we would buy let’s yo and reopen it as an erotic cakes shop. it wouldn’t be appropriate for the teen interns of froyotown to work there, so they’ll be out of work.

omfg, we would single-handedly restart the teen intern depression.

maybe we should go back into hibernation - wake us up when there are 5 of the next trendy type of place throughout town. we predict that colon-massages will be the next big hit. that or more cupcakes.

by the way, when will you people realize that cupcakes are just tiny cakes. you’re being conned into paying normal cake prices for smaller cakes.

hugs, not drugs
the editarghh

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DOOM AND GLOOM THEY SAY! 

the hot moms of baristanet say that there are five froyo places and a newspaper says that there is going to be a shakedown. do you think the shakedown will be between froyo places, or newspapers and blogs talking about froyo? or maybe the froyo bros (froybros) against the media bruh alliance that is against it.

we don’t blame the mediabruhs for being a bunch of haters - it is just as easy to write about the news as it is to start a froyo place.

what if the media bruhlliance is right and there is a frobubble froburst?

if the dotcom bubble burst of yesteryear tells us anything, less teen interns will go to college for froputer science. the president will declare 15 years later that we need more people in the frosciences and it will be cool to be a frobro all over again. then there will be lots more froyo joints and the cycle will continue.

are you ~team frobros~ or part of the ~media bruhlliance~?
will you discourage your teen interns from majoring in froputer science, instead telling them to choose something more viable like english lit and/or erotic baking?
what’s your favorite place to bro-out over some froyo? 

“another froyo joint? great news!” - no one

the editarghh’s father always hated yogurt. when it came to the delicious live cultures, he said “i don’t like to taste things that can taste me back.” well, montclairites have yet another place to get tasted because another frozen yogurt place is opening.

why all the yogurt places? we have a couple of theories.

1. demand

for some reason, montclairites think that frozen yogurt is healthy, even after they put on all the fruit and candies that little kids had their dirty mitts in. “well it’s not ice cream, even though it basically is” says everyone that we imagine in our minds. haven’t they seen seinfeld? it’s not fat free!

2. ease

running a froyo place has got to be the easiest thing ever. all you need to do is buy a few yo’ machines that do all the work, hire a bunch of teens to do the rest of it, and boom - you’re an entrepreneurial warrior of the spoon. then you advertise your froyo as “healthy” and make it fun for the kids by putting ipads with angry birds on colorful tables. it’s so easy, it makes our heads explode into bits of cereal, sprinkles, and the goopy caramel clots that keep the good hot caramel from coming out of the dispenser - until you press too hard and you get caramel all over you and the teens.

maybe we should have started a snarky froyo place instead of a hyperlocal snooze blog. maybe there are other types of places this town can use instead of more froyo, like:

• a roller rink
• a bowling alley
• that quiznos that’s been closed for, like, a decade already
• a classy gentlemen’s club
• a classy gentlewomen’s club
• an erotic cake shop
• an indoor batting cage
• a daycare center for teens that don’t work at froyo places
• a permanent halloween store
• an indoor bike path where the only bike allowed on it is the chaicycle

are you excited about p@tch’s news about a new froyo place, or do you think it’s about time montclair gets the erotic cake shop we deserve? tweet at us, bruh.

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