the montclair thymes

oh hey, we're the thymes

we are the hyperlocal bloggers of montclair, nj. we break all the hyperlocal snooze.

send your tips to our ironic aol email address - montclairthymes@aol.com

We post our films on:
Vimeo

local bloggers on tumblr

our secret identity

our secret identity

montclair thymes montclair grammy nominated grammy nominee
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"According to a poll we conducted in 2011, Garden State residents are far more likely to visit a municipal website than to call or write a town official."


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captain obvious

duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh 

duh captain obvious patchypatch patch aolol municipal website websites montclair
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can the montclair public library really be the “center of community?”

~~~ the montclair thymes investigates using maps and stuff ~~~


the montclair public library wants to be the center of community according to their “strategic plan.” is it in their strategic plan to physically move to the actual center of town, though? because, frankly speaking, it would be a shame to steal the glory of LITERALLY being the center of community from whoever actually is there.

to the maps!

do we really need to force “hurricane plumbing heating” to pass the torch of “center of community” to the library? isn’t “hurricane plumbing heating” already a good enough place to serve the community? they seem excellent, a real class act:

also we know they have ample heating and plumbing, which is really all we need besides froyo OF COURSE.

~~~ this has been an investigation by the montclair thymes, using maps and stuff ~~~

maps maps and stuff hyperlocal montclair baristanet montclair public library library community montclair thymes investigates google maps hurricane plumbing heating class acts
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something tells us that montclarions are not going to be happy about the proposed 2013 budget :(

something tells us that montclarions are not going to be happy about the proposed 2013 budget :(

baristanet montclair hyperlocal budget 2013 budget town finances pizza pie charts lol pizza parties
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mass epidemic alert in montclair - msu students infected with strange virus that makes them think doing “viral” videos is a good idea

montclair state university is so high up on “the hill” that everyone there gets their news about 15 minutes later than the rest of us. then we get news from up there 15 minutes after that. aolol’s patchypatch is reporting an enormous number of “viral” videos coming from the hill which involve terrorist-friendly lyrics in FOREIGN languages and dance moves that aren’t the dance moves that the dance move-enthusiasts are used to dancing and moving to.

you know, when we hear or read “harlem shake,” we think of “milk shake” and you know what kind of reminds of milk shakes…

oh. my. glob.

CAN FROYO BE THE CURE TO THESE SO-FIVE-MINUTES-AGO ATTEMPTS AT VIRALITY? 

someone better give us $1.1 million so we can save let’s yo.

1 note harlem shake montclair montclair state montclair state university hyperlocal aolol patchypatch viral campaigns snooze from the hill
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BREAKING NEWS: BARISTANET BREAKS NEWS ABOUT MONTCLAIR THYMES NOT BREAKING NEWS ON LETS YO BEING ON SALE

we are so ashamed. we disappear for months and awake to hot moms telling us that lets yo is for sale. 

where did team frobros go wrong?

can’t help but think that let’s yo being for sale is all because of our sudden absence. if we had $1.1 million cash money dollar bills, we would buy let’s yo and reopen it as an erotic cakes shop. it wouldn’t be appropriate for the teen interns of froyotown to work there, so they’ll be out of work.

omfg, we would single-handedly restart the teen intern depression.

maybe we should go back into hibernation - wake us up when there are 5 of the next trendy type of place throughout town. we predict that colon-massages will be the next big hit. that or more cupcakes.

by the way, when will you people realize that cupcakes are just tiny cakes. you’re being conned into paying normal cake prices for smaller cakes.

hugs, not drugs
the editarghh

1 note montclair baristanet froyo frozen yogurt team frobros for sale cupcakes fads hot moms of montclair breaking news let's yo
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breaking: editarghhh loses password to montclair thymes, lays down and listens to mariah carey songs for 6-months straight to remember it

omg i forgot my password to this site so i couldn’t do the snooze and it turns out the password was “caryafrick666” the whole time arghhhhhhhhh

1 note
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PETER ZORICH MAKES BANK, FOLLOWS MONTCLAIR THYMES FOR TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE MORE BANK

PETER ZORICH MAKES BANK, FOLLOWS MONTCLAIR THYMES FOR TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE MORE BANK

twitter peter zorich making bank hyperlocal montclair
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got a #hyperlocal tip or a question for the editarghh? well, why don't you ask it already!?


yoyoyo i really want you to mention the french brasserie Epernay, on Park St. some day. check it out! they do (or we do) an open mic every monday night but not nearly enough people know about it. plus we have kick ass homemade biscuits. check us out thymez <3

the editarghh once had brunch at epernay and it was delicious. the thymes supports this and any other business that stands behind a wall with a big rooster painted on it.


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are we witnessing the froyo bubble burst?

DOOM AND GLOOM THEY SAY! 

the hot moms of baristanet say that there are five froyo places and a newspaper says that there is going to be a shakedown. do you think the shakedown will be between froyo places, or newspapers and blogs talking about froyo? or maybe the froyo bros (froybros) against the media bruh alliance that is against it.

we don’t blame the mediabruhs for being a bunch of haters - it is just as easy to write about the news as it is to start a froyo place.

what if the media bruhlliance is right and there is a frobubble froburst?

if the dotcom bubble burst of yesteryear tells us anything, less teen interns will go to college for froputer science. the president will declare 15 years later that we need more people in the frosciences and it will be cool to be a frobro all over again. then there will be lots more froyo joints and the cycle will continue.

are you ~team frobros~ or part of the ~media bruhlliance~?
will you discourage your teen interns from majoring in froputer science, instead telling them to choose something more viable like english lit and/or erotic baking?
what’s your favorite place to bro-out over some froyo? 

montclair froyo frozen yogurt frobros mediabruhs
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